Pintervention Time: Sorry, But I’m Not Making My Own Laundry Detergent

My Pinterest feed has been blowing UP with 'recipes' for homemade laundry detergent. I'll concede that these pins are thrifty, but time is money and I sure as you-know-what don't have time to get all Laura Ingalls Wilder when it comes to my dirty clothes. You feel me?

There are, like, eighty gagillion pins for what is essentially the same recipe (Exhibit A, Exhibit B). It involves your purchasing the ingredients and then literally cooking them up into laundry detergent. You have to GRATE an entire bar of soap and then boil it with other stuff and watch the stove top like a hawk because if you blink it apparently ruins the recipe. Then you pour your concoction into Mason jars (LOL. What would Pinterest be without its myriad of uses for the humble Mason jar?), which you allow to sit for FIVE HOURS before dumping the soap into a blender and 'whipping' it to perfection.

Y'all are kidding me, right? Who has time for this? I don't. It takes me like 15 minutes to go to Dollar General and buy some Gain and BAM: I have laundry detergent that didn't require zen master patience and a millennium to produce.

These recipes are a way to save money. I also understand the desire to make a laundry detergent for your family so you KNOW exactly which chemicals are sudsing up their clothes.

It's just---UGH. Every time I log on Pinterest, I feel like The World's Laziest Mom. I love my family to the moon and back, but I'm not going to turn into Walter White just for laundry soap. This recipe makes me feel like even more of a failure as a mother and human being: not only do you make the soap from scratch, you make hand-etched glass jars in which to store or gift your artisan laundry detergent.

NO. WAY.

This isn't 1812. This isn't Fight Club. I'm not making any soap. I'll buy it. That may make me a terrible mother/person, but I just don't have time in my ridiculously busy schedule to churn butter, yoke oxen, and make soap from scratch.

See y'all at Target.