Life as a New Mom: The Two Most Important Lessons Every Parent Needs to Learn

My daughter will celebrate her third birthday tomorrow, and as I look back on the past three years, I realized I've grown just as much as my little girl. It's been a tough road at times, but I have learned so much.

When I was pregnant with Dolores, I read every resource book I could get my puffy hands on, scoured website after website in an attempt to gain as much knowledge as I could before my daughter arrived. I was cramming harder than a freshman during finals week, and I found a few important lessons here and there--but I learned the most important lessons on my own.

If you only take away two things from this edition of Life as a New Mom, let it be this: It's normal to doubt yourself, and you're good enough. Got it? It's okay to doubt yourself, and as long as you love your little one, you're good enough.

There's not a chapter in What to Expect When You're Expecting called Hey, Be Ready to Second Guess Like 85% of Everything You Do Because You're Going to Feel Like You're Screwing This Up All the Time, but there SHOULD BE.

Parenting is hard work. You are completely, totally, forever responsible for the life of another human being. I'm confident in my ability to care for my daughter and to handle just about any situation that comes our way, but I still worry that I am making the right choices. Am I reading her enough books? Is her bedtime too late? Is she flossing properly--and, for that matter, how the HECK do you teach a little kid to floss?

If you think about these things too much, it can be overwhelming. The first year of motherhood was so, so HARD. I worried all the time, and then I worried that I worried too much. I was convinced that I was a terrible mom, but my dad gave me advice that helped me find my feet again. He told me that I am a good mom, that the fact I was so concerned about making the right choices meant I had my daughter's best interest as my first priority.

Real talk: you may think your friends are pulling off this whole "parenting" think with ease, but they're not. Everybody feels doubt from time to time, so don't beat yourself up over it.

That brings me to my second lesson: stop beating yourself up, because YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.

You hear me? You're good enough. Do not allow anyone or anything to make you feel otherwise. I'm sure moms have been shading each other since the dawn of time, but social media makes parenting harder.

I pack my daughter's lunch every day: PB&J, mandarin oranges, yogurt, veggie straws. I feel like I'm doing a good job, and then I log on to Facebook and see pics of some blogger's #flawless bento boxes. You know what I'm talking about: free-range hard boiled eggs shaped like hearts, artisan bread, hand-picked blueberries, some kind of cheese my white trash rear can't even pronounce. It's easy to see that kind of stuff and feel inferior, but I'm telling you: don't let it get to you.

You're not a bad mother if you let your kid snack on Cheetos. You're not a bad mother if you buy your child's clothes at a thrift store. You're not a bad mother if you let your son watch cartoons while you hide under a blanket in attempt to ward off a migraine. You're not a bad mother if you can't afford to buy your daughter the latest and greatest toy or tablet.

If you love your child, if you're doing you're best to make sure your child is fed and clothed and cared for, THAT IS ENOUGH.

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. Got it, mommas?

(I'm going to toss this in here: if you're using social media to humblebrag about the fact that you never let your kids even look at a soda, that your kids only wear designer clothes, that you refuse to vaccinate because BIG PHARMA, that your kids are fluent in like seventeen languages, that you don't even allow them to say the word 'television,' that you've packed lunches, painted the house, put on a full face of makeup and completed a triathalon before lunch, all that crap... I have one word for you: CHILL. I'm glad you feel good about your choices, but please stop rubbing our faces in your #momlife.)

Motherhood is hard. I don't think it gets any easier. I've been a mom for three years now, and I can't think of a single time I've been like, "Hey, this is a breeze!" It's hard work, but it's the best work--because at the end of the day, you get to hold and cuddle and just be amazed at this little person who is on this planet because of you. That's the most wonderful feeling in the world. <3